How to grow intimacy with God?

how to grow intimacy with God

How to grow your intimacy with God?

Eight Keys to Greater Intimacy

Do You Struggle with Intimacy with God? 

Growing intimacy with God seems easier for some but not easy for others. I grew up in China, in a performance-oriented culture. Intimacy with God has not been easy for me. I tend to jump into action before asking God if this is what I am supposed to do or if it is the right time to act. Also, as a goal-oriented person, I quickly fall back to my default mode – doing before praying. However, I look back on my life; my relationship with God has been growing as long as I keep seeking Him and His righteousness.  

What does Intimacy with God Mean? 

Intimacy with God to me means free flow of two-way communication with God. I seek to hear His voice in my daily life and be obedient to His voice, bless others and have a blessed life. Seeking to hear God’s voice in everyday life is to honor Him as the Lord of my life. I don’t always seek Him because I am so used to doing life out of my default mode – self-reliance. It takes a deliberate effort to turn to Him for direction, answers, wisdom, or confirmation.

The Argument against Seeking God in Everything 

As I started this journey many years ago, I heard this argument against asking God about everything. The idea is that God gives you a brain to think independently. Would it be annoying if you were 40 years old and still asked your parents what to wear, what to eat, and where to go? This argument sounds very logical. However, it gives in to the temptation of trusting our brain and relying on our ways or even self-idolatry. If we are trained to seek God for everything, our spiritual muscle of hearing His voice is strong, and that dependence becomes second nature. It would be fast and easy to listen to His voice in our daily lives.

Intimacy with God Scriptures

intimacy with God

Some of my favorite Bible verses on intimacy with God are:

Draw Near to God, and He will draw near to you

James 4:8: Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

Psalm 63:1-8: God, You are my God; I shall be watching for You; My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and exhausted land where there is no water. So have I seen You in the sanctuary, To see Your power and glory. Because Your favor is better than life, My lips will praise You. So I will bless You as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul is satisfied as with fat and fatness, And my mouth offers praises with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches, For You have been my help, And in the shadow of Your wings, I sing for joy. My soul clings to You; Your right hand takes hold of me.

Isaiah 55:1-6: “Come, everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live; and I will make with you an everlasting covenant, my steadfast, sure love for David.

Abide in God, and He in You

John 15:4-6: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.


Four Aspects of an Intimate Relationship with God

We usually turn to God when things and relationships in our lives do not turn out the way we want or expect. In our needs, we turn to God. I call this relationship transactional. A transactional relationship is a transactional and not a long-term committed relationship. I give you some, and you return the favor. And, there are no deep or meaningful relationships outside of the transactions.

In our journey of growing intimacy with God, we experience four aspects of an intimate relationship with God. 

intimacy with God

These four aspects include:

Aspect #1: Master and servant relationship

It was natural to assume the master and servant relationship when I first came to know Jesus. In my eyes, God is the master of the universe and the master of our lives. It is a clear message in my mind, and the practical realization of having Jesus being the Lord in every area of my life took a lifetime of surrendering. Apostle Paul tells us, “But in everything commending ourselves as servants of God, in much endurance, in afflictions, in hardships, in distresses (2 Corinthians 6:4)”.

When the Master and Servant Relationship Go Wrong. 

We are created to know Him and serve Him. However, this relationship aspect can easily be perverted as master and slave without intimate knowledge and experience of God. During the first 15 years of my faith journey, I served God diligently without knowing Him intimately. I did not know about hearing God’s voice. My understanding of hearing God’s voice was strictly the written words in the Bible. Now, I look back to that stage of my relationship, which is like Israelites with the Law of God. I experienced His blessings when I obeyed written words in the Bible (be honest, be kind, give financially, and diligently serve at church). However, that relationship did not bring contentment and fulfillment until something unexpected happened, turned my life upside down, and caused me to seek to know more of God as a taskmaster, as recorded in my book, the Lens of Love.

Aspect #2: Parent and child relationship

People who experience childhood traumas may have difficulty trusting God as the father in heaven. In the perfect world, as in the garden of Eden before the fall, we depend entirely on God for His provision, protection, and affirmation. Before the fall, people trusted God and obeyed Him in His commandment and voice. This relationship aspect did not come as naturally as I thought after I became a believer. It takes time and work of the Holy Spirit for healing and restoration for me to trust God more and more. I am thankful that I am moving towards more dependency on God.

Aspect #3: Friends with God

In recent years, the Christian community has talked about friendship with God. The scriptures that call for friendship with God is John 15:15 “No longer do I call you servants, for the servant, does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” The father of faith, Abraham, is also called a friend of God (James 2:23). Jesus also said to His disciples that we are His friends if we do what He commands us (John 15:14). Friendship with God starts with reverence to God and seek His voice, counsel, and wisdom in every area of our lives. You cannot be friends if you do not fear God and don’t hear His voice. 

Aspect #4: Co-labor or partnership 

Finally, the last aspect of friendship with God is a co-laboring relationship. We are called God’s fellow workers in 1 Corinthians 3:9 “For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.” To me, this relationship is as meaningful as friendship, being children of God. It is the partnership with the almighty God in creating something new. This relationship aspect speaks of maturity in our relationship with God in my walk. 

In summary, I am solidifying my identity as a child of God, growing my friendship with God through serving and co-laboring with God. Proper understanding of the master and servant relationship helps us to be in reverence of God. Without the reverence of God, we would humanize our relationship with God. He is God, and we are not. 

Benefits of Intimacy with God 

The benefits of intimacy with God are too many. Here, I am listing seven benefits of an intimate relationship with God in my life. 

  1. Know God as who He is
  2. Know ourselves as children of God
  3. Rest in the confidence that His ways are the best
  4. Find purpose, fulfillment, and contentment
  5. Live life with joy, peace, and hope
  6. Prosper in every area of our life
  7. Fruitful in all of co-laboring with God

Eight Keys to Grow Intimacy with God

eight keys to intimacy with God

Everyone walks a different journey in growing their intimacy with God. I have found that these eight keys have helped me grow daily.

1) Wait on God every morning

Make yourself available to God and starts your day in alignment with The Lord of your life.

2) Talk to God about everything

Talk to God as if you are talking to your best friend. There is nothing that He could not handle.

3) Seek to hear his voice in everyday lives

God is not limited to the church. He is God and the Lord of our daily lives.

4) Be open and vulnerable to God about your struggle

He will not condemn, shame, or guilt you. He builds and gently convicts and guides to the right path.

5) Give thanks

Worship, praise, and thankfulness shift our focus from me to Him. He is worthy.

6) Repent quickly

Repent quickly to get back to God’s ways when the Holy Spirit convicts you,

7) Open to different ways of hearing his voice

It is a fun journey to hear His voice in different ways and be surprised.

8) Serve to grow your spiritual gifts

We can grow by serving in ministry or people to stretch our spiritual muscles.

Prayer for Intimacy with God

Lord, I come to you and desire greater intimacy with you.

Lord, God, my father in heaven. You are worthy of all my praises and worship. You created me to have an intimate relationship with you. In our relationship, I will discover your love, kindness, wisdom, guidance, provision, protection, and affirmation of who I am in you. I will find my purpose and fulfillment and thank you for putting this desire in me.

Lord, open all my spiritual senses so that I can hear your voice. Draw closer to me as I draw near to you. Increase my hunger and thirst for you. Amen

Next Steps:

Now that you’ve gone through these steps, you’re on your way to a closer relationship with God!

So what comes next?

You may still struggle with hearing God’s voice, although you make an effort to grow intimacy with God. 

The Healing Relationship Coaching covers why and how to hear God’s voice with examples and practices. You will be well equipped to hear God’s voice in your daily life.

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